When I found out, a while back, that my book Knowing You, from publisher Canelo, had been shortlisted that was exciting enough. I genuinely never expected to win as all the other contenders in this category were so strong.

It was a glittering event, with sparkles on dresses and in glasses, held at the Leonardo Royal London City hotel in Tower Bridge, London. I got there very early with my husband, so in my black faux fur coat I headed off to Starbucks for a fortifying hot chocolate. We got back to the hotel at 5 and I headed upstairs for the formal photographs. Then my husband, along with everyone else, came up at 6.30.

What a wonderful ceremony. Charming Anton du Beke from Strictly Come Dancing was there, as a nominee, along with author legends Sophie Kinsella and Carole Matthews, and comedian and author Jenny Eclair presented the awards. The wonderful Jane Wenham-Jones, looking amazing as usual, hosted.

My award was handed to me by Jackie Collins’ granddaughter – an absolute honour. I am so thrilled (no pun intended), however tenuous the link, to be connected to her inspirational grandmother.

The ceremony passed in a daze – I sat there, feeling a little tearful I admit, and just so happy, wondering how this could have happened. Writing is an up and down career and the moments like this make it worthwhile.  Here I am with my husband, and agent Clare Wallace from the Darley Anderson agency.

Then we enjoyed a lovely buffet and everyone mingled, catching up with friends.

I’m so grateful to my agent, husband and children for the support they’ve shown me over recent years. It’s been a difficult time. As regular readers of this blog know, I’ve faced and tackled mental health issues since 2016 – and the eating challenges I’ve struggled with still rear their head from time to time, especially around events like this which, whilst exciting, tap into any body image/dysmorphia insecurities.

But I forced myself to face my fears, just like I did for the event last year when I was shortlisted, and I’m so glad I did.

And you can too as long as you keep telling yourself the truth – that fears are just that, and not actual fact

The winner will be announced at a fancy ceremony in London, on the 2nd March – so I’d better get dress shopping!

I’m looking forwards to seeing lots of friends there, and enjoying a night out with my husband, agent, and my publisher Canelo.

Jenny Eclair will be presenting the awards, and Anton Du Beke has also been nominated in another category!

It’s such an honour to have even a tenuous link to an author, and woman, like Jackie Collins, and I couldn’t be happier.

And to celebrate Knowing You has been discounted to 99p for a limited time!

Here I am, alongside the other nominees!

The evening kicked off with photos being taken of the nominees. Then there was a mix and mingle session before we all took our seats and nervously waited for names to be read out.

I didn’t win but it was such an honour to be shortlisted in the romantic Comedy category, for my book One Summer in Rome – something I would  have fantasised about during my years as an aspiring writer!

I attended the event with my amazing agent, Clare Wallace from the Darley Anderson Agency, and greatly admired her gorgeous leopard print outfit!

My outfit was down to the choice of two. The other – a floral jacket with black trousers – kept suffering a massive wardrobe malfunction at the front, so I went for the safer option… a lace dress with sensible shoes, having suffered badly in the past from walking to and from events in the highest of heels. Yes, I have reached an age where comfort outweighs vanity!

There was much laughter, many canapes and it was a brilliant opportunity to catch up with writing friends I haven’t seen for a long time. A fantastic evening to celebrate such a diverse and popular genre and all supported by some very generous sponsors.

As readers of my blog will know, I’ve faced a challenging couple of years health-wise, and just attending this ceremony, in itself, was incredible – I guess dreams really can come true.

You can find out about the other nominees and categories right HERE.

The winners will be chosen at an awards ceremony in London, on the 4th March.

So I’ve got just a few weeks to find a frock!

Thanks to all the readers and bloggers who’ve supported this book. It was a joy to write.

The good side of this? It drives me to succeed as it is my reputation and self-pride at stake. I think this applies to anyone who is self-employed. I work long hours. I strive to be my best. I do lots of promotional work and forever look to improve my writing. I write speedily to increase my output and become as prolific as possible.

But the bad side?  Recently I realised that striving to my best – for me – means striving to be THE best and that is an unattainable and dangerous goal. If a book doesn’t sell as well as the previous one, a little voice hints that I’VE failed. If I get a bad review, it feels like a huge blow to the person, SAMANTHA TONGE. If I lose followers on Twitter, I wonder what I  am doing wrong. Writing is so closely linked to an author’s ego. If I were merely tweeting on behalf of an employer such as a school or doctor’s practise, the ups and downs of that platform’s success would have little effect on me as a person.

In my opinion,  the important thing, as a writer – or artist, actor… any of those professions where you give away a little piece of yourself during the process – is to distance yourself as much as you can from the business side. You won an award (like I did for Game of Scones)? Great. Recognize it as an appreciation of your work, not your soul. It might happen again. It may never. That doesn’t mean you, as a person, have succeeded or failed any more or any less. Just received a bad review? The reader isn’t saying YOU deserve to be the target of rotten tomatoes. They simply didn’t enjoy one of your pieces of work in the way that some people love sushi (yuk) and others don’t. Not gaining as high rankings as another author? No matter. That’s the nature of the business. There are lots of contributing factors and whilst you are the face on the tin, you aren’t responsible for everything like the packaging or final recipe – or amount of luck.

Plus social media  – whilst highly enjoyable – can easily feed into a writer’s fragile ego. Are my photos appealing enough? Are my tweets and statuses funny? Why have my ‘likes’ gone down lately?

I strive to stand back and see being an author as just a job. And this isn’t as hard as it sounds, luckily for me, as I have a lovely family to enjoy time with. If I had come to writing as a younger person, without other responsibilities, the knocks might have hit harder. So my advice? To start with cut down on social media outside the 9 til 5 or during the day if your writing life starts in the evening. See your social platforms for what they are – tools to drive your career and not an indictment of the kind of man or woman you are. A little hint that you are connecting too closely with your job is what you talk about when you speak to a distant relative on the phone. How much of your news is about your work? Have you anything else to say about other aspects of your life like hobbies and trips out? Try to find an even balance.

So next time you get a bad review or your book doesn’t soar, still pat yourself vigorously on the back. Or as you launch a new book, like I will be doing soon with my summer novel Breakfast under a Cornish Sun. You are doing the hardest thing ever – putting actual parts of your soul out into the big wide world, to be scrutinised by Joe Public. That earns you the permanent judgement of being one hell of a gutsy person, who looks failure in the face – instead of creeping around it, too scared to ever dare step out of its shadow.

Recently, my lovely editor at CarinaUK gave a talk at a book event and tweeted this photo of one of her slides. The line on the left represents how people feel the road to success progresses. The one on the right represents what it actually looks like. And I would definitely say that is true in my experience.

I’ve had a long and rocky road to publication and penned my first novel in 2005. The very first agency I sent it out to was Darley Anderson. It came back with a swift, standard rejection letter (thoroughly deserved). To my disbelief, ten years later, I have just signed with this agency, a moment of success for me. But the line of progress in between those two dates has certainly been squiggly, with ups and downs and moments where I felt I was going around in circles.

Whilst completing a first novel is a huge achievement, it represents the beginning of a long and tough journey only those with a thick skin will complete. I wrote novel after novel that got rejected. Sometimes the line of my progression halted when I declared I’d give up my dream of becoming a published author. Of course, that was like declaring giving up food or water – the compulsion to write is in my bones and I never stopped for longer than a couple of days.

Then in 2011 my line progressed a little further. I sold my first short story to a women’s magazine. I went on to sell over 50 to the People’s Friend. In 2013 publisher Alfie Dog Fiction brought out a collection of my short stories in paperback and Kindle form, called Sweet Talk. That was super-exciting and a huge boost to my confidence and my little line edged a further forwards. I even bagged a great romance agent so, on the surface everything looked like it was going to plan.

However lots of squiggly bits were happening at the same time. I failed to sell more than a couple of stories to Woman’s Weekly, for example and the first novel my agent submitted didn’t find a publisher. Despair set in time and time again. In publishing, I find that highs are often followed by lows and then circles where nothing seems to change for a while and then you might hit another high. The one constant is that words, with hope, continue to be written. Smaller successes become very important such as a lovely comment from a reader or an encouraging line from a publisher who rejected but nevertheless enjoyed your work

And then in 2013 I landed a deal with CarinaUK, thanks to my then-agent and my debut book Doubting Abbey. It got shortlisted for an award. Then my bestselling summer 2015 book Game of Scones actually won an award. For a while the squiggles straightened themselves out which was thrilling for me.

But, of course, my line still isn’t as straight as in the left of that slide screenshot. Some books sell better than others. Bad reviews still come in. I have a long way to go. In my opinion, you are only as good as your next book, not your last. A writer can never, ever become complacent. I am working harder than ever now, with my first novella out on the 11th February, How to Get Hitched in Ten Days. This will be followed by my summer novel Breakfast at Poldark’s in July and after that, who knows…

I guess that means the squiggly bits are important. They prepare you for the lows and make a writer realize that above all, determination and perseverance rule the day. So if you are going through a down or circular bit at the moment, don’t worry. Everyone has been there, it just doesn’t look like it on the surface. Look at all the rock bands who disintegrate and then re-form years later. Or the politicians who fall out of favour but make a comeback. Life is messy – just like squiggles. The important thing is that you are trying, maybe sometimes failing, but picking yourself up, learning and then moving forwards again, even though that may not be in a perfectly straight line.
As Robert H Schuller said:
“Better to do something imperfectly than to do nothing flawlessly.”

The calibre of the other nominees was very high, and what lovely ladies. That is the best thing about these events… getting to put proper, real-life faces to the names of writer, blogger and publishing industry people. And rather challenging it is too, as not everyone looks exactly like their social media photo if they have changed their hair or used an old picture. Yes, cue the embarrassment of someone greeting you like an old friend and it taking you a few moments to work out exactly who they are…

I also embarrassed myself but muddling up the identities of a literary agent and editor and inappropriate hugging was involved! But with the Prosecco flowing, such mistakes are easily forgotten and laughed over.

After the awards ceremony, during which another award-winner, the prolific Jenny Colgan, gave a very funny speech, we headed for the Romantic Novelists Association’s Winter party in a posh venue near the Ritz Hotel. Cue more Prosecco and lots of lovely nibbles – mini pizzas and tarts, scones (appropriately for me!) and a short industry award ceremony, champagne provided courtesy of the brilliant Katie Fforde.

From left to right, here are fab author friends Annie Lyons, Kath McGurl, Holly Martin and Carrie Elks (phew, I got all their names right).

Towards the end I finished up by putting the world to rights with another writer, in the toilets – where else – before heading off early to catch my train home (needn’t have bothered, it was delayed by an hour!) and I finally got to bed at 2am.

Great day. Both events so well organised. And writer friend John Jackson, as usual, acted as a very polite and lovely version of the paparazzi – well done.

This is the life I dreamed of years ago, when I started writing, and I count my blessings at every event. If you are an aspiring author, don’t give up. It took me several years (*clears throat* being generous there) but if I can start to achieve my goals so can anyone…