However, some still lurk in the shadows, flexing their fork in my direction and things came to a head, recently, when I was shortlisted for the prestigious Romantic Novelist Awards  – a huge honour. Indeed, when I first heard I’d been nominated in the romcom category for my 2018 romance One Summer In Rome  I was absolutely ecstatic… but the evening itself presented a huge challenge to someone like myself with a history of  body dysmorphic issues.

The thought of being in any way the centre of attention and – abject horror – having professional photos taken, filled me with dread. As did the challenge of finding a suitable outfit – something I imagine many of the nominees can relate to.

But with the support of my husband, and the company of my wonderful and understanding agent, Clare Wallace from Darley Anderson, not only did I get there – I thoroughly enjoyed the event. After I’d said hello to a few people my anxiety started to slip away and much chat and laughter took place. And I now feel more brave about attending any such event in the future.

At the beginning of my writing journey none of this was a problem and I enjoyed many author get-togethers, seeing them as nothing but fun and important for my career. But then my mental health took a downturn, brought back some issues from thirty years ago and I am still fighting them – and am determined to get back to where I was before, seeing every invitation to a launch or blogger get-together or publishing party for what it should be… an exciting and enjoyable aspect of the business I am in.

When the official  photo came in I got control of the self-critical thoughts and forced myself to post the image online.  And this is what CBT therapy is all about – facing your fears. The more you do the thing you are afraid of, the more you can accept that your concerns are unfounded.

Yes it’s hard. Scary. Especially when others may not understand your concern over something that appears trivial or irrational to them, particularly if you’ve become good at putting on a cheerful veneer. But the feeling of achievement you’ll get, if you push yourself, is second to none.

It’s not easy being a woman – or man, for that matter – in today’s society. Some of us may feel we have to have great jobs. Be brill parents or children. Perfect partners. That we’re supposed to look like celebrities and gain hundreds of likes on social media. And this is an area I explore in my  new novel Knowing You, that was published yesterday. Violet works in publishing and due to an upset in her private life starts to question just how successful an editor – and woman – she is. And this leads to a shocking twist at the end. I’m thrilled with the fantastic reviews coming in and humbled to see that her story is resonating with readers…

So if you’re struggling at the moment, mental health wise, and CBT therapy is an option, I would definitely recommend it.

You can do this.

Or if you are simply nervous about taking the plunge in certain areas of your life, go for it. Afraid you will get rejected if you send out that submission? There’s only one way to find out. Anxious about joining that book club you’ve been invited to? Go ahead. Without a doubt every member will have felt like that on their first night.

Whatever your fear is, there is only one true way to tackle it.

And that’s to stare it straight in the face.

You can find out about the other nominees and categories right HERE.

The winners will be chosen at an awards ceremony in London, on the 4th March.

So I’ve got just a few weeks to find a frock!

Thanks to all the readers and bloggers who’ve supported this book. It was a joy to write.

Goodness. How inspiring. It took him three years, two of those studying full time, struggling financially as he had a family to support – but taking the long-term view. There’s the theory paper, and then sessions in front of a stern panel, answering questions. People may have to resit several times. I read somewhere years ago, that it takes 10,000 hours of study/practise to become a professional in any field, whether that be a concert pianist, an Olympian, an author – or indeed, a London taxi driver. Once I added up all the time I’d spent writing before getting my first novel deal, and the figures matched this theory.

All of this got me thinking that, really, there are three areas, in my opinion, that writers need to become knowledgeable about, as they make their way along the road to publication. The writing itself, social media and how the publishing world works. And, just like that driver, authors need to take the long-term view – success won’t come overnight.

Writing – I’ll never forget the first novel I wrote, back in 2005. At 94,000 words I’d only written four chapters! I had no idea about structure, point of view or show not tell. It came straight from the heart and was typed withe raw passion. It also contained a lot of autobiographical content which I needed to get out. The next book was rather different as I joined a writer’s forum and started to learn more about my craft. Also, I voraciously read how-to books (see below!) and over the years, had editorial reports done on my work so that professionals could point out where I, personally, was going wrong. I’m not one for rules but feel they  need to be learnt to be broken properly – see my blog post here.

Over eight years, whilst I tried to get a deal, I never stopped learning and pushing myself, hard as it was in the face of rejection. This is the crucial part of an author’s “Knowledge” because no amount of contacts or followers on Twitter will get you an agent or publisher, if the writing lets you down. And the journey doesn’t stop, when you are published. Lately my editor has helped me take my writing in a different direction with my latest book The New Beginnings Coffee Club. I’ve covered controversial themes and really delved into my emotions and whilst it has been hugely challenging, I’m thrilled with the results.

Social Media – Eventually I joined Facebook, started blogging and later, found my way onto Twitter and Instagram. Nowadays, I probably spend half of my authorly working time on social media, promoting my books and networking with readers and bloggers. It doesn’t feel like a sacrifice, even though lately my writing time is limited due to a vocational course I am running it alongside and other new personal commitments. I see it as an essential and enjoy it – probably a little too much! Like it or not, a good social platform is seen as an essential now, by many agents and publishers. Don’t wait for that deal – set yourself up now.

Communicate with the writing community. Get involved. And don’t forget, when creating your brand, to make it three-dimensional. This means to share something about your life that shows the whole you. No one is interested in a flat social media profile that just says “buy my work”. It should reflect an interesting,vibrant, rounded personality. One thing I share a lot about my love of baking. Your interests don’t have to be ground-breaking – and perhaps the more relatable, the better.

Publishing – Over those eight years, I learnt more and more about the publishing business. How best to phrase a submission letter. How to write the most concise but fully informative synopsis possible. I researched agents and publishers by always consulting the latest edition of the Writers’ and Artists’ Yearbook.  And, as rejections came in, I took what I could from those letters, when given a snippet of personal feedback. I discovered that every agent is different – blanket submissions are no good. You need to research their own personal list of authors and follow their own submission guidelines to the letter. And since I’ve got published, my knowledge is ever-expanding. I’ve had to get my head around pricing strategies, Amazon metadata and promotional tools. The list goes on.

Last week I asked the taxi driver if The Knowledge exam was any easier because of SatNav. Did the examining board expect less? His answer was a vigorous “no!”.  It’s the same for us authors. There are no shortcuts. You need to get to grips with – and constantly evolve alongside – the way our industry works. It’s hard. Like anyone else I can be fearful of new challenges. Just the idea of trying Facebook Live isn’t good for my nerves!

In my opinion, if you want to become a professional and get paid for you work, you really need to focus on this writing malarkey as a job. You need to educate yourself in your craft, social media and how your environment works. Don’t see those years of rejection as wasted, because they are a vital part of your training ground. Good luck!

It was lovely to meet new author and barrister Roxie Cooper. Her debut, out soon, The Law of Attraction, is super.

Also I bumped into Peter Jones whom I’ve known online for several years. He was much taller than I expected (I guessed correctly, six feet four) and he was surprised that I’m a bit of a shorthouse (as my father used to say!)

The canapes were delicious – including these herby cheese scones that were actually the size of a ten pence piece!

One highlight of the evening was the award of the new writers’ Joan Hessayon Award, won by Kate Field. Here’s lovely fellow HQ Digital author Vivien Hampshire, who was shortlisted.

Looking very glam were my talented friends Carol Cooper and Mandy Baggot.

I always love seeing what friends wear and Holly Martin came out top with this amazing rainbows and unicorns dress.

So, thanks to the RNA for another fabulous evening – I am already looking forward to the winter party. My night was rounded off by another fascinating taxi journey, with tales of Sir Michael Caine and learning The Knowledge (it took this London driver three years, two of those full-time studying it). Oh, and a chicken and pesto sandwich and hot chocolate on the train home. I always was a cheap date

To start with, the first time I met up with my publisher, in  London. I’d spent the previous sixteen years as a stay-at-home mum so was completely out of my comfort zone in this new business environment. It makes me chuckle now that I managed to wangle sandwiches in the offices instead of being taken out to lunch – I was like a nervous schoolgirl on a first date! After the formal part we did, in the end, go out for coffee and the day turned out to be fabulous. I surprised myself with an inner confidence. Now I really look forward to my trips down to the Big Smoke.

The second scariest thing… reading reviews. The first review for my debut book, Doubting Abbey, went up on GoodReads the night before launch. It was 3* which whilst not a bad rating, didn’t meet my perfectionist hopes. Tears were shed. I convinced myself that the book would flop and that I’d let everyone down. As it was, the book went on to be a bestseller and lots of readers loved the characters and plot. But for a while, I looked at each new review with trepidation. These days, my skin is much thicker and I realise that not everyone will like my work. And accepting that is part of my job.

Thirdly… ooh…. going to my first Romantic Novelists Association party. I imagined, in my head, that the chat would be all about literature and I was going to be outed as the least well-read person in the room. As it was, I couldn’t have been more wrong! Think Prosecco on tap, lots of laughs, a little gossip, and just banter and empathy about being a writer and books. I now adore meeting up with my writerly friends, who are some of the most generous, supportive people in the world.

Fourthly… managing expectations has been hard and thinking too much about them is scary – something I try not to do just before the launch of a book, like at the moment with Breakfast under a Cornish Sun coming out in July. I try to control those questions in my head like is my writing good enough? Will I let down my agent? How many copies does my publisher expect to sell? Will my readers love this story as much as the last? I’ve learnt just to take my career one book at a time and to try to be satisfied if a good number of readers end up being moved in some way by the story, regardless of rank or sales or income. I recently received a lovely message from a reader who couldn’t wait to get home to finish Game of Scones  and I couldn’t hope or expect for more than that.

Lastly…I guess, ironically, the scariest thing is finally achieving your dream. Is it really everything you thought it would be? For the most part, the last three years have been a whirlwind of excitement and thrills, with books selling well and an award won. Of course there have been difficult moments, as with any career, when I have thought of that phrase “be careful what you wish for”. Yet finally I feel like I have “come home” and am doing what I should be with people who “get” what I am about. So really, that’s turned out to be not scary at all.

I don’t profess to know much about art and my favourite era is the very popular Impressionist one. Last week, at the National Gallery, I was thrilled to see one of Monet’s famous waterlily paintings.

I also visited the Tate Modern, not expecting to enjoy this trip as much. In the past, I haven’t been a fan of contemporary art… You know the sort of thing – a painting of a dot on a line called “A Dot on a Line”. I’ve always thought, what’s the point, I could paint that? So with a slightly narrow mind, I headed over to Southwark.

Wow. What a revelation. Thanks to the descriptions on the walls of each piece  I think, after all these years, I finally *got* what contemporary art is all about.

It’s not so much about what is on the canvas, but what isn’t there and how this makes the viewer feel. One piece was a large silver plate with a pile of silver pots and cups pushed to one side. Apparently any class of Indian household has this crockery, and the point was that for many families, they remain empty of food, just like in the display. I also learnt about cubism and the geometric art that became popular between the two world wars… Apparently this regimented style was favoured by artists as there was so much chaos in reality.

All of this has got me thinking about my writing. One of the first things I learnt as a writer was to spell everything out – never assume the reader knows what is in your head. And this certainly gave my writing some much-needed clarity. Yet now, whilst I think clarity is everything, my visit to the Tate has made me question whether I have taken that too far and could do with making my plots even more complex, and make my brain flex harder – like it had to when walking around the contemporary art displays.

So yes, lots to think about and a great week, and I can’t wait to visit the Big Smoke again. Cheers all!