Five Top Tips for Dating a Writer!

I attended a workshop for writing for women’s magazines once and an editor said you are all sensitive people  – that’s why you write. She wasn’t wrong. On the plus side it means we can easily empathise with our partner’s problems – we are good at getting into the heads of other people. We need to be – to do our job. On the downside you might find us blubbing over the end of a book or going into a darkened room if a rejection comes through the post. Strap yourselves in tight and prepare for an emotional rollercoaster if you date a writer – on the plus side you’ll be going out with someone in touch with their passionate side.

Secondly… Cats. Youtube videos. Funny memes. All of those things, on Facebook and Twitter might not look like work to you, but scrolling down those pages are an essential part of any author’s day! Honestly. Writing is exhausting intellectually and authors need to constantly break from their work-in-progress to recharge with some trivial stuff. So don’t roll your eyes at your partner’s social media obsession – it could lead to a speedy end to your relationship!

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Thirdly… Come over rock-like because they are going to need your support. When a rejection comes in, to a writer it can feel like the end of the world. They need their nearest and dearest to reassure them that this is just a blip and that they must carry on – even if you don’t one hundred percent have faith in their latest project, a romance between an astronaut and a three- breasted alien. You see us writers have enough self-doubt without any negative vibes from elsewhere, so practice that bright smile and those reassuring words. You’ll be glad you did when they become a bestseller.

Fourthly – enjoy the fact that present-giving will be easy. Us writers love, love notebooks. And writing snacks are very important.  Or if you’re flash with the cash, a writer’s retreat holiday would be perfect!

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Finally… dating a writer is not for the shy. You see, ahem, parts of YOUR life may end up in their work, being read by the public. For example, a couple of years ago, my family and I had a rather lovely holiday in Cornwall and that provided much material for my new book, Breakfast under a Cornish Sun. On a more intimate note, if you are considering hanging out with an erotic writer, consider which parts of your life might be incorporated into a novel! On the plus side, it means your partner might be fascinated by your job. My husband has just started working for a fashion company and my creative juices are already flowing. Just watch how much you confide – any family secrets might end up in print. Equally, don’t panic if you see your partner’s computer search history. Just because they’ve been Googling how long it would take a pen of pigs to eat a human corpse, doesn’t mean they still hate you after that latest argument 🙂

6 comments

  1. suzy henderson says:

    I’m recharging my batteries reading this during my writer’s tea break. Great post & so true. And the social media bit is always viewed as ‘skiving’,is it not? The thing is, that’s so vital & I often navigate to Twitter/ Facebook during a break in an attempt to catch up. It’s an endless cycle, a writer’s life, and I wouldn’t change it for anything. Have a fabulous week. 🙂

    • Sam Tonge says:

      Thanks Suzy, you too!
      Yes, sometimes the only way I can stay at my desk is to keep flitting back to social media – many a book has been written that way. So cats and kittens are all good!

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